AML in Print

THE CIRCUIT ShortList

Carolyne Zinko, Catherine Bigelow
Sunday, December 8, 2002
The San Francisco Chronicle
URL: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2002/12/08/CM113081.DTL

Five common social faux pas and how to avoid them

Asked of Lisa Mirza Grotts, etiquette and protocol consultant, AML Group, San Francisco

1) Shaking hands as if yours is a cold, limp fish. First impressions are important; handshakes should command respect and be firm.

2) Not responding to an invitation in a timely manner, yes or no. It's not polite to keep the hosts or caterers guessing whether you're coming.

3) Not sending a thank-you note within 24 hours of attending a party or receiving a gift. It's common courtesy and gracious behavior.

4) Making a toast that is really a roast - too long, too revealing or too personal. Guests don't need to know all about a bridegroom's ex-girlfriend or the time he tied one on. Grotts recommends three B's: Begin, be brief and be seated.

5) Asking someone to a lunch (or dinner) and then trying to split the bill. Inviting a guest to lunch carries the responsibility of picking up the tab. Suggest menu items in a variety of prices, so your guest knows that your hospitality has no limits. The host must order the same number of courses as the guest, so there is balance in the meal.

"Good manners don't cost a dime," says Grotts, "but bad ones may be very costly."